counselling pt 2-there be drAGONS IN THE SKY


EACH DAY IS THEN ABOUT AVOIDING THE SPARKS……………the sparks start the moment my eyes open, figuring out—

are the nightmare ghosts still in the room,

bleary eyed to work,

a smidgen  of office politics and I’m already starting to crumble

and it’s only 08:45

It’s getting harder to step away from the internal to the external.

I know i’m making progress, trying things out. Enrolled for basic photography class, the enrolment tutor asked what make of camera I had.

Slight problem didn’t know, it’s a compact camera,

Looking at the tutors face I could see this was most definitely the WRONG  answer. A few weeks ago I would have run, made an excuse and left the building very quickly. success, I grinned and said that why I needed a beginners class.

OK, I do feel I am the marked student when the class starts, but trying to tell myself that’s the tutors issue not mine. I actually enrolled actually want to go. Feels like a success. Still utterly terrified, but am able to sort of park the terror till the night of the class, I hope.

Why photography. I love trees and clouds want to track the image of “my trees”. Not actually my trees, but those outside my window .

Devastated that my landlords chopped down a beautiful conker tree, didn’t tell anyone, and feels like a huge loss. I want to ensure I have a record of our trees.