EACH DAY IS THEN ABOUT AVOIDING THE SPARKS……………the sparks start the moment my eyes open, figuring out—
are the nightmare ghosts still in the room,
bleary eyed to work,
a smidgen of office politics and I’m already starting to crumble
and it’s only 08:45
It’s getting harder to step away from the internal to the external.
I know i’m making progress, trying things out. Enrolled for basic photography class, the enrolment tutor asked what make of camera I had.
Slight problem didn’t know, it’s a compact camera,
Looking at the tutors face I could see this was most definitely the WRONG answer. A few weeks ago I would have run, made an excuse and left the building very quickly. success, I grinned and said that why I needed a beginners class.
OK, I do feel I am the marked student when the class starts, but trying to tell myself that’s the tutors issue not mine. I actually enrolled actually want to go. Feels like a success. Still utterly terrified, but am able to sort of park the terror till the night of the class, I hope.
Why photography. I love trees and clouds want to track the image of “my trees”. Not actually my trees, but those outside my window .
Devastated that my landlords chopped down a beautiful conker tree, didn’t tell anyone, and feels like a huge loss. I want to ensure I have a record of our trees.
cantcryunderwater 