SILENCE, BRICKWALLS AND HOLIDAYS

Feels like a weird week. For a few days have been unable to communicate,sounded like a  very cross “gruffalo”. And that’s when I could get some sound out.

My frustrations took me to tears. H ow do people who cant talk  cope with it. Got me thinking more about powerlessness. Whilst we generally see body language as important WORDS are the necessary and accepted communication.

I have been thinking about my mum when she had her stroke and couldn’t  speak. Thinking about how I saw her being treated so badly in hospital. She wasn’t the exeption, it was horrible normal. If your not able to verbally communicate  so much is cut off from you.

I find it incredible difficult to express the fear I had.

 IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS,

 it was only a cold .It’s made me feel maybe we should all spend a day not speaking and see how you get by.

I guess it feeds into the silence as a child of not being able to tell anyone what was happening to me.

Stating to talk more, about that time with my counsellor, but I am backing off to. Christmas coming up. Dreading the isolation .Seeing people, hearing people making plans for nights out, feeling the exclusion from it.Wondering if there ever going to be a point where I feel included. Not feeling optimistic.

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