Feels like a weird week. For a few days have been unable to communicate,sounded like a very cross “gruffalo”. And that’s when I could get some sound out.
My frustrations took me to tears. H ow do people who cant talk cope with it. Got me thinking more about powerlessness. Whilst we generally see body language as important WORDS are the necessary and accepted communication.
I have been thinking about my mum when she had her stroke and couldn’t speak. Thinking about how I saw her being treated so badly in hospital. She wasn’t the exeption, it was horrible normal. If your not able to verbally communicate so much is cut off from you.
I find it incredible difficult to express the fear I had.
IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS,
it was only a cold .It’s made me feel maybe we should all spend a day not speaking and see how you get by.
I guess it feeds into the silence as a child of not being able to tell anyone what was happening to me.
Stating to talk more, about that time with my counsellor, but I am backing off to. Christmas coming up. Dreading the isolation .Seeing people, hearing people making plans for nights out, feeling the exclusion from it.Wondering if there ever going to be a point where I feel included. Not feeling optimistic.