Sounds a bit strange doesn’t it. No, Samaritans haven’t become a place you phone to get food ideas. It was totally and wholly appropriate. Food is such an issue, it’s so linked up to my life.
My mega plus guilt about eating cakes before the abuse has left me with massive food issues. Eating out used to be nearly impossible, getting easier now, its good eating with friends.
Talking this time with Samaritans was dammed hard. When the phone was answered the first words felt patronising and scary, so down the phone went, very quickly. It felt scary and as if the Samaritan was telling me to go away.It was so so hard ,do I ring back.I was so upset. Gritted my teeth,phoned back,and we sorted it out. It was the first time I have been able to check something out ,did I understand what was said. Of course I got it wrong!!!!!The Samaritan was being welcoming and recognising me. As is my fabulous skill of reading in-between the lines. Trouble is with Samaritans, 99.00% of the time there are no line to read between.. So we sorted that bit out,or I kind of backtracked and the Samaritan helped me sort out distinctly wobbly lines. That led to the utterly ginormous discussion of food and me.We got round to eating,the stuff I eat daily,the weird stuff, about not necessarily eating things I like, maybe even eating things I don’t like, because. Because of what, no blinking idea.
OK,missing things out, missing out some of the heavy parts of the conversation, but I have a fabulous recipe for a soup.Samaritans have helped me sort out knarled lines. The knarled lines that I used to run away from. Its finding out that its ok to say “that’s upsetting”
“what do you mean” ,its kind of safe to do that.