Doubts fears and falling

how does a date in a calendar suddenly make the tightrope start to shake and pull. When your on an escalator and your holding on and suddenly it pulls, takes you off your balance. Only your just handing on by the skin on your teeth. The date on the calendar pulls me back to something two years ago, my world fell apart. I was attacked  whilst volunteering ,but its different, I was attacked because I stepped in to stop the person attacking someone else. Why cant I convince myself that was a huge step change. I was acting on the world ,not letting the world push me out of the way. Hours before  I felt so good. I felt like i was part of the world, not sitting outside of it. Wish I could stand on the balcony and scream my head off. Maybe I need to stop trying to understand what others are thinking and concentrate on my own thinking. I am fantastically wonderful at reading between the lines. Trouble is there generally the wrong lines. Trying to escape the rain that’s pouring through my mind.

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