wobbly moments

I haven’t done this for a couple of weeks. Guess since the realization of how small and vulnerable I was when I was abused, its kind of meandered into everything. It sort of means i’m having to look at things differently, there is a minuscule doubt that may be the abuse wasn’t my fault, it’s only a tiny doubt though. Binging going a bit crazy.

If I binge I feel full, full equals not being able to do much, full means not wanting to do anything.

Not binging feels empty raring to go, but not knowing what to do, nowhere to go, fearful to go, do anything.

So binge, feel full, can’t do anything and round and round I go!

Sometimes try and stay with the feeling empty, its kind of exhilarating, partially terrifying, to fearful, to much to explore, to explode in my mind.

 

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One thought on “wobbly moments

  1. I know you wrote this some time back, but I too have issues with food. I use it to deal with my stress and I use it to avoid feeling emotion. Its a difficult habit to break. But whatever happened to you loopyloos, it wasn’t your fault. Please remember that. xx

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